I have a walk of shame I should be getting to. "Hey, by the way, what is your name?" is not a conversation I want to have today
rhymes with "ouble enetration"
Just had a girl agree to give me a blowjob in exchange for wearing my jacket during class. Talk about successful negotiations. Best day of my life
when did we get so old that our friends started having LEGITIMATE children?
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I'm so hungover I took Dramamine to help prevent the motion sickness of walking.
started her walk of shame as my mom and dad walked through my common room door...my dad held the door for her and told her to have a nice day
What's the point of being healthy if people still don't want to fuck you?
The best part is when you puked in your slurpree and the 7 eleven guy still made you pay for it
Dude he was a used car salesman for his friends' penises. I know I have something here that's right for you!
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
A girl told me I was her "alcohol spirit animal" tonight. Somehow I think my whole life was secretly building up to this moment
I m a li title tea p or short and sto u. T.... Here is my haaandley
C ANGT CATCH NE IM THE GIBNGER BREAS MAB
Dude I used amphetamines responsibly today though. I snorted one in the am for work and then chewed one in the pm for other work. I'm an adult.
Peeing in taco bell cups is part of the fun of going to taco bell
Well, he kept asking me if I was going to murder him once we got upstairs. It sort of killed the mood.
You were so drunk, you kept telling everyone you had a platinum vagina.
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