i dont remember who you are as you are in my phone as "mr. peanut."
just woke up and this girl had my cellphone nestled in the front of her thong. i kept thinking "is this a trap?"
And he showed us your test. You wrote what is this shit and scribbled on it? Nice 3%..
Pretty sure that Albanian broad gave me something last night. Now we play the waiting game.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
The bouncers kicked us out around 3 so we went to the grocery store flasks in hand and asked them to turn up their music...
Oh by the way, john gave me your shirt to return to you when I was at work today. I almost gave him his girlfriends underwear to return to her but figured it would be inappropriate.
Breakfast Clubbing as Juggalos. I can feel our IQs in freefall.
I've been up for almost three hours and it took me until JUST NOW to figure out that what I'm tasting isn't blood, just the minerals in the water. Fuck hangovers, man.
hey dude my crackhead idol just taught me a great way to tie shoes
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Saw 2 lesbians fist fighting outside the bar tonight. I was startled yet slightly turned on
I forgot her safe word. It was a rough night.
lesbians are really intense tho, she made me take her eye makeup off and told me she was going to eat me for breakfast
Is there anything more American than getting day drunk and watching Hulk Hogan promos?
the next thing I knew, I was on the floor of a Tim Hortons bathroom in Canada.
but next to his bed he has a bible, and on the bible he has a pbr coaster and a condom. how can i stay mad at that? Its amazing.
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