I wish we could go back in time and find our best farts ever
some girl just asked me how to spell unconscious. I really want to know what she was texting.
no more everclear, i just stood next to the toilet and peed my pants. then went back to the party soaking wet.
Just hide your weed in your baby brothers shirt. TSA wont check a baby, thats fucked up
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
a search helicopter?!
Can I have my ID back now or are you using it to crossdress again?
found a half eaten roll befind my toilet today. my birthday just keeps popping up.
Just so you know swallowing does not help chest colds. Your Phd can suck my dick
The beer-amid has reached five feet. Caitlyn has a taser. GTG
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
He ate me out on the kitchen floor while we waited for the cake to bake. How was your Valentines Day?
The cleaning lady even cleaned my bong. I'm scared to open my sex toy drawer and see if and how she organized it
My now ex hook up buddy realized I was hooking up with others when she saw my spotify sex playlist making appearances on fb. fml
I'm gonna take a crap in the portashitter like a civilized human being.
Orgasms and cereal.... that's what life's about.
I dont need your sympathy!!!! Just a fifth of vodka and gummy bears...lots and lots of gummy bears to take my agression out on.
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