pube in her braces AGAIN. barely kept a straight face.
My life is like the prequel to "40 Year Old Virgin"
Draw a picture of yourself puking and peeing on her and give it to her with a note that sys this could be your future if you be my friend
i wish i could swallow nair and shit it out and it would get rid of all my ass hair.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
dinner with the girl I motorboated last semester wasn't as awkward as I thought it would be
I'm at the bar and they've turned up lady gaga to cover the sound of the fire alarm.
i think you ate grass..but you refused to open your mouth so we could see..
the caf people were giving us weird looks and she yelled ITS A LIFE STYLE
Definitely contact high. Thirty miles an hour listening too i can see clearly now wanting too eat the steering wheel
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
You blacked out and walked in on my neighbor breast feeding at 3am yelling "where is my best friend". I think we should go apologize.
U took a sewing needle to his nipple
Psshh,
I feel like it'll be a success as long as she doesn't end up dead in a ditch. There has to be a line somewhere.
The shrooms have turned on carrie. Change of plans. We're getting stoned and finding bacon.
He wants to make me arch my back "like I'm having an exorcism". Not sure if I'm turned on or freaked out.
If history is any guide, his morals are no match for my tits
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