so I was just driving high and I stopped to let a pinecone cross the road because I thought it was a hedgehog.
Lets get really high and only speak Spanish to each other again tonight
My psychiatrist is "consulting" others. I am high-achieving nuts.
Just discovered Kim Possible porn. Life is now complete.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
So instead of getting the if-you-hurt-my-little-girl-youre-dead talk, i got the alcohol-is-our-friend talk, i like her dad already
Apparently the cops have a video of me singing bob seger "Night moves".
do you find it slutty that the last person I had sex with is also the person who sings my ringtone ?
let's remember the whole point of NYE: to drink antisocial amounts of antisocial drinks, become incoherent, ruin a carpet, talk to a tree, wake up with head sellotaped to toilet. The where/how is superfluous, my vote goes to a cupboard and a bottle of jaeger Questions?
wait can you just like go into detail with this penis touching thing? like was it a hand job or was it like a day at the petting zoo or something
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Fulfilled a bucket list goal last night. Borrowed a dollar from a stripper to buy smokes
God bless Atlanta.
Hey, don't think you remember me but we met last night. I'm conducting a survey this morning its only one question: Have you seen Rob since 1am?
Well you were hungry, by then you cried and called yourself a basic bitch for eating crackers
DO NOT THROW SOUP AT YOUR SCREEN
i just passed i guy i once let listen to me masterbate on the phone...nyc is not big enough
I wish there were more things in this world as wonderful as string cheese
Surriously
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