a woman just threw her tv out the window while screaming "will you fucking work now?". i'm never moving
I just spent my lunch hour driving around campus yelling "TRADE LIVES WITH ME!" to all the freshmen moving in
Every one of her profile pictures looks like an ad for American Apparel. Of course she has syphilis.
the choice between paying your electricity bill and getting herpes medicine is a tough one.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Hint of advice dont get with minor league baseball players, you can google their stats but not their stds.
I found his retainer in my ass crack. It smells like shame.
Christ, I really took the slutcake last night.
Wait. Someome brought slutcake?
I wonder if her husband knows I have my own drawer at the apartment
It feels like I'm breathing out my heart and it spreads through my limbs to my fingertips.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Technically he's married but he says it's "not like that" even tho his wife lives with him. Not sure if I believe him but I'm sleeping with him anyway.
Then you jumped in the pool because your were convinced the scratches on your neck from the cat were gills and you could breathe underwater.
It was incredible. For as long as I live, I will gladly drop whatever I'm doing and spend a night with her face between my legs ANY time she asks.
I am decidedly straight, but I'll write it into my wedding vows if I have to.
Being able to fart in her presence and not be judged is why I pay half the rent.
It wasn't until after we began having sex again the next morning I realized I didn't know his name.
I got drunk off three vodka cranberry’s and told him to “WWE raw dog me.” Fucking kill me.
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