he is naked. in. my. bed. happiest day. of my. LIFE.
I showed him my bush... on skype.
just found out my horoscope sign is scales. it's like i was destined to be a drug dealer
Hey man your outta milk
How the hell do you keep getting in my apartment?!
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
The fact that both my ribs are severely bruised from shoving flasks in my bra might be a validation of my mothers alcoholic accusation
well i fell out of the hot tub and tumbled down the hill and kicked a plant in the process.
Lets play hurricane shelter. And the shelter is my bed, and we forgot our clothes.
i formally give you permission to eat me when i pass out
can we take a moment to remember my theory on 'your tongue is a snake that lives in your mouth' because we reached a whole new level of high
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
We just had an accidental Facebook titty pic scare.
There's not really an emoticon that says "I'm sorry I honked your boobs, and that you weren't a fan of that."
I just gotta say that I feel so much better now that I got some. I mean I feel like a normal functioning adult ready to contribute to society.
A picture of a damn cupcake brought back 3 fuckboys
Well, I got drunk and told my family about what I expected sexually after a good first date.
So uh... Did you mail me business cards that describe my profession as "tortured soul"?
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