It's mornings like this that make me happy to have a clean pair of underwear in my purse.
angela screamed across the room SHES A CHAMP when i told the pharmacist plan b doesnt make me throw up
Princesses don't give blow jobs
the maid of honor just got in a fight with the mother of the bride at a gas station across the street. best. wedding. ever.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I can see why you broke up with her now... it was like having sex with a corpse.
I am three bowls, two beers, and a muscle relaxer into babysitting. What are you doing.
Maybe. This hangover is made of nightmares and that thing from the Alien movies.
You challenged yourself to walk backwards all the way to the bar... And you did
Come to wine Wednesday bro. We have a fog machine
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
whatever the appropriate amount of shots is to consider drunken acrobatics a good idea was a few less than I actually had
COME HERE WE MELTED A CORONA BOTTLE WITH FIREWORKS
Best feeling in the world is getting a random boob pic from a drunk chick at 3 am.
I just had sex on a roof
I told you being able to play expert on guitar hero would get us laid one day
I want to respect them as people, but really I just want to have sex with them.
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