I GPSed you we're an hour and 14min away from each other
and it's going to stay that way
Just saw actual Chinese people doing a Chinese firedrill. Good day.
you woke up, pulled a beer bottle out of your pants..took a drink and went back to sleep.
i just masturbated in footie pajamas. there's no judgement here.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Its not that I'm getting free haircuts... Its just that she is paying for sex with haircuts...
I petted my head, told my hair it felt beautiful and needed to be let free. Then pulled out my pony tail. Cheers to weed. I lose.
I can't remember dinner
Hahaha "rub in the ketchup on your face, It'll just look like blush." some gay waiter said that to you, and you go "good idea!"
he was high. i was rolling face. we were both wearing grateful dead t shirts. at that point it's like we had no choice but to fuck
Shia just rubbed his beard the way I do all the time and maybe he's my soul sister. This live stream is life changing.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I would have rather been getting my vagina slowly waxed all day then be here.
If you're wondering about the mess, we had sex in the kitchen. There was noodles involved.
I just started an apology with "so I'm sorry about throwing the Brita at your head last night..."
Wanna go on a picnic?
... by picnic I mean wanna sit on a blanket and drink with me?
We were literally making dick jokes with his dick out
That’s the level of friends with benefits I aspire to achieve
Don't worry about it too much, but I just committed us to possibly raising a kid
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