apparently the secret to your success is patron
Don't remember much from last night, but I recall slipping you the tounge. For that I apologize
Oh my gosh they are following me around the bar
Blow your rape whistle
Yeah he's definitely gonna feel that one when he wakes up. I beat the shit out of him with that broom handle.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Watched him slip somethin into her drink. Dragged him of his bar stool, punched him out, and told her what i saw. Bartender used some chemical to confirm presence of rophynol. Just woke up at her place
I have a way to get him back. you're going to have to take one for the team and make a visit to the health department. you in?
Well, I've taken the art of car peeing to new heights
Just wanted to let you know it's 3am and, at this point, I believe your sister has more of my semen in her than I do. So suck on that, fuckface.
IT IS EARTH DAY, RECORD STORE DAY, 4/20 EVE, AND SATURDAY ALL AT THE SAME TIME!
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I have a 30 minute video visit blind date tonight with a guy in prison. And it's costing me $9. ROCK... BOTTOM...
I keep getting congratulated for drinking 2 six packs of mikes hard and winning the Olympic marathon and I don't remember this shit and now my throat is on fire
It finally happened my mom knowingly gave me money to buy drugs i knew this day would come\n
i almost got into an argument defending my life choices with a guinea pig eating chocolate cake at 4am
My breath smells like gin and sadness
You just thought it would be a good idea to show your penis to your best friend. No harm, no foul.
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