He keeps looking? I tried to shag. I invited him to this table but he went to ze other one! If he shaves his 'tache I would totally hit it.
Dude. Creed is coming in september.
We're no longer friends.
Terrible. Enormous nipples with a small ring of boob on the outside. It looked like a tittie eclipse
: am i supposed to send the mass text 'merry christmas!' to my booty calls too?
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
i hope whoever thought of bagged wine flip cup last night has the same hangover as me. not ok.
Dude, he sent me a pic of his dick. I thought dating a married man wouldn't remind me so much of high school. Seriously.
I thought he was kidding when he said pretend to be a dunkin donut delivery women. This is the last time I ever role play.
I tried calming him down but his eyes are rolling to the back of his head and he's yelling "COMA WEED!"
Would it be safe to assume you're the one that left my front door wide open and left yourself a trail of jaeger drops to find your way back?
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
im sober
you just pulled your sweatpants out of your bag and thanked them for being alive
Note to self: last nights makeup does NOT, under ANY circumstances, look good today.
I tried to find the bar, ended up at a car dealership. Then the alarms went off.
Just specific performance'd my way into her pants. I literally said specific performance and that shit worked. Thanks B. Law!
Lol no. She's home safe. You forget she is too pretty to get arrested.
You ran down the alley towards a stranger screaming "you took my beer".... Then proceeded to run into a garage, fall down, and scream about how your shirt makes you look fat.
Randomize