Pretty sure I only gave out my other # though. You know, 777 777-7777
Hahaha. So was it a Freudian slip, or wishful thinking? ;)
Could be either seeing as you're in my phone as "3rd bar" and I couldn't pick you outta a line up.
New low. Found an ant nibbling on my last xanax. Flicked it away and popped it in my mouth anyways.
you were smoking 3 cigarettes at once saying 'cancer isn't real! Its all in your head!'
You were walking around in your swim suit, an open robe, snow boots and a death grip on that handel of captain morgan.
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My night consisted of weed, sex, and Mexican food. In that order. I think we found the keys to saving our marriage.
The reality is I'm 24 and I have terminal breast cancer. Fuck yeah I'm going have sex with every hot guy I can. What, am I gonna worry about getting an STD or pregnant at this point? If I'm gonna die, I want to have any many big dicks as I can while I'm still able.
he came in the room wearing gloves & rapping while eating a corndog
knight in shining armor
You wanna get laid? Be a female for once and stop bending nails to impress guys.
because. if I can't sit outside naked and eat my watermelon every morning then I really don't see the point in moving in with you.
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Ok. You have started something that can only end with a picture of the inside of my butthole. It may happen today or next year, but it's on my agenda.
ok so i got home drunk and was cleaning my kitchen and i was shaking out the throw rug and dropped it out the window, i'm sorry
I woke up to an email from expedia confirming my flight to hong kong
He tripped and fell all the way to the ground and then stood right back with out spilling a drop of his 3/4 full glass of rum and coke. It was like watching something from the matrix
it's like he didn't even know what a vagina was
you walked 30 min all the way back to the dorms at 2am?
i was more bummed that i dropped all my skittles.
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