we were both hunting dick last night. it ended terribly for both of us.
I've decided that life's journeys are more fun when your moral compass hangs in front of you and swings with each step
Dude if it is possible to orgasm from shitting i think it just happened.
I just love slightly exposed cleavage. Not too much to be whory but just enough to say "your kids will never go hungry"
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
We fucked in your water heater closet. Told you we'd try everywhere.
We should search craigslist for porches to sublet.
He never broke character while fucking me on the neighbor's lawn. I give him a 10 for his dedication to the British accent.
Oh I will totally be your beard, but on one condition I get to watch you and your boy friend have sex.
When the strippers start dancing to Christmas songs it's time to get the fuck out!
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
There was a comma in between her and dick. I was calling you a dick. Jesus.
I WAS SURROUNDED BY HAIRY BALLS ALL ALONE.
Yeah like stabbing myself through the eye with a coffee stir and bleeding out all over the office rug
You were yelling at a tree saying it should be in the forest..
Don't judge me.
My Mormon mother just found a butt-plug in our AirBnB closet.
At least I’m an “essential employee” and can still bang my boss. \n\nFingers crossed my husband doesn’t ask why I’m essential, the orgasms are too good to give up during this pandemic
Randomize