i was so high it looked like the chipmunks movements were coordinated to that lady gaga song
well if I unknowingly shoved my hand up someones ass, I'm glad it was yours
andd if someone unknowingly shoved their hand up my ass without me knowing, im glad it was you
well i did drunkenly flip his snowmobile going 90, so i can kind of see why hes mad
I made out with Jen. We were naked. I'm still gay. Forever
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she fucked me tho cuz it was her cat's birthday. As soon as we were done she just says "ahhh tequila tuesdays"
Why are there sofa cushions on the floor? And why isn't there a sofa in this room that doesn't have cushions?
I was really excited when he said that condoms didn't fit him, then he added "they fall right off"...
You really realize what your life's become when you're sitting alone in the house crying in a santa hat and pjs getting stoned on christmas eve before noon.
He's def the type to chop us into bits whilst screaming "NAPA BITCH". AKA my type
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do you remember in the middle of fleeing from the cops you stopped in the middle of the road to make out with quail man?
Well Apparently I went to piss out my window last night, woulda been ok if I opened the window or the blinds.
He ran into the surf holding up a cigarette yelling "let the Olympic games begin!" So no, no vodka left.
I gave him head while despicable me 2 played in the background. I think I disappointed the minions
Haha. I have resting bitch face. He has I want y'all to die face. It's a subtle difference
You threw up with such class too! Tiara and all.
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