A little girl and i are having a face making battle in mcdonalds
She started it, but I totally finished it.
I don't think i can handle my uncle say again that kid rock is a true musician....
somehow a sneeze triggered me puking over everyone in the car
i love all of you. Physical. Emotional. Mental. All of it. When we speak i feel like a feather or a dragon depending on the conversation ...
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Damn, it's been so long since I had sex I could use the cobwebs from my vagina to decorate for Halloween.
For gods sake, I only took one. With two nyquils. What a happy world its been today. Fulfill your obligations and then its marvelouso.
I made this pact with my vagina, though. No more heartless fuckery.
We're having a serious conversation and I just responded to something he said with an emoticon. I am so baked.
Doing lines off a plate that says, "things go better with coke."
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We put your drunk ass to bed. 10 minutes later we heard you scream "DICK-PUNCH!!!" It was immediately followed by a shriek of pain and crying. So to answer your question; no, that's not "sex soreness".
We laughed. We cried. We came everywhere.
She bought my penis dinner and beer last night. Her words
I can't remember if I puked before or after the shots of absinthe. Or why I thought shots of absinthe was a good idea.
She said she is going to be sex-slave version of Princess Leia for halloween. You think there is any way I could pull off an attractive Jabba suit?
Guuuuurrrrrl! He ate the 🌮like it contained the Covid-19 vaccine!
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