its sad that I know 23 beers will fit into my purse
SORRY! Pervert came out for a bit. BAD PERVERT! BACK IN YOUR HOME!
High gym went like this: I went to Dairy Queen instead.
It's official. This guy and I are going gay for each other. We're tasting the fucking rainbow.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I would seriously fuck her so hard, her contacts would pop out of her eyes.
Martha Stewart has had a one night stand and is unsure if she's had a threesome. I no longer feel slutty.
I'm warming McDonald's pies on my heater cause I'm too high for the microwave.
He was leaving the restaurant I was going to as I was parking. I didn't want to scream, "hey, didn't I jerk you off?" Out of my window at 10 am
11/10 would buy him a McLobster
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
i think the realest test of our friendship is how hot your sister looks right now
Two words: blizzard sex
I thought the dude was just really enjoying his piss but apparently he was jerkin off into the urinal.
Not this time. I'm drinking in my sweatpants which means I've given up for the day and shouldn't be in public.
He walked in on me masturbating and on my phone but got mad because I wasn't watching porn just tweeting
He said a lot of nice things about me, it was really uncalled for.
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