So there is this guy preaching the word of God outside our club. I went up to him and said, "God made this body, and he made it for premarital sex." Sup, Hell?
I just worked out and used handles of vodka as weights. Whoever said alcoholism is detrimental to you health obviously has no fucking idea.
I've come to accept that no matter where I step in our apartment, your underwear will be there.
just as they were cutting his pants off he made em stop & said "everyone knows about shrinkage right".
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I have not carelessly put myself in herpes way since I got a clean bill of health tyvm.
You were basically naked. Just covered in pink duck tape and feathers. I'd have to say this is beyond the slutty mark..
Just did an upsidedown spineboard shot. Gotta love lifeguard parties.
He showed up in booty shorts and no shirt and said dont laugh dont ask questions and give me a fucking final and no one in class said anything we just sat there speehless
I didnt say frisky time, just alone time, to chat, or watch a show, or stare into one anothers eyes, or souls, or asses, whatever you straight people do
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
a pizza costume came into my possession last night. needless to say i showed up to his house wearing only the pizza, shouting "delivery" into his window.
That's a lot of people she's fucked in one picture.
But for real though. That weed tastes like the jolly laughter of Santa Claus.
i'm gonna crowd surf you onto his dick
i had to flash a cab last night.
did it work?
No. he slowed down but then kept going. story of my life.
He was literally screaming at me for using the same knife to scoop the peanut butter and the jelly.
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