You were so drunk last night you thought you force pushed the automatic door open.
FYI: Do not ever call any girl a thundercunt as a form of dirty talk.
lesson learned: don't narrate out loud about how a girl is giving you head while she's doing it
i wish his balls had a scratch and sniff sticker elsewhere so i would know before i even went down there
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Pros and cons of selling your underwear to a guy on craigslist. Go.
Come down off the roof.
My dad is so drunk he attempted to ride my two year old cousin's tricycle. For a solid five minutes.
he drank all my beer while i was at work and passed out on my couch, when i got home he was out cold and my room mates pig was licking him. they seemed peaceful, so i took 20 bucks from his wallet and left again.
It was incredible. For as long as I live, I will gladly drop whatever I'm doing and spend a night with her face between my legs ANY time she asks.
I am decidedly straight, but I'll write it into my wedding vows if I have to.
3-9 out of 10... Depends on the situation. Taco Bell is more of an idea than a restaurant.
How stoned are you?
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
downside - we got stuck at the intersection before the santa clause parade started and had to wait for it to end. upside - i got frontrow seats and a blow job to the santa clause parade.
I just drank beer out of an old Vicodin bottle hoping to catch some residue. That's how finals week is going
You were peeing off the rooftop and told everyone sometimes you just gotta go
Oh you know just explaining sexual consent to a drunk 80 year old man. How is this my life?
Hey, I found that piece of pizza you lost in my bed last night. Never again...
you came home and ate 12 bananas. you really didnt think mom would know you were high?
Randomize