In a few years, 50 babies 50 states. Like it?
I'm getting very good at recycling my hook ups. So even though i'm having more sex... I'm the same amount of slutty.
Yes! I like to call that picking from the buffet!
im too high. i could barely wash my hair, let alone handle a whole shower
Sorry for talking about super scientific shit so much last night, I know it bugs you sometimes when I don't shut up.
What? You sat on the couch for a solid 2 hours staring at your fingerprints and the only word that came out of your mouth was "how"
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I saw the video from Saturday. So, how much did I drink for me to think I was a duck and strip my clothes?
But like now everytime I pee I just think... wow I had sex with him on this toilet.
The night was going well until I found tufts of my hair in the freezer. Then I got nervous
Was awful. Wedding photos taken by a river with used syringes floating past. Had to ask the bride to put down a can of rum to have her photo taken.
It's isn't revenge sex until you've cum on her porcelain doll collection.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
There was an unopened condom by my car when I went to pick it up this morning. Someone may have fucked on the hood of my car last night. Don't think it was me but I can't rule it out 100%.
I woke up at 4 am to a guy curled up in the fetal position sobbing in our front yard. Oh college.
she's the poster child for how alcoholism can be fun.
We both knew it was over when I took a u turn at her belly button.
I seriously just rolled a joint on my high school diploma. I feel like I've come so far.
I know you won't see this for awhile, but I had to tell somebody, and you're like the only person who won't judge me for having an accidental erotic encounter with General Tso's chicken.
Randomize