Thanks for last night it was amazing as always
What are you talking about
You've got to be kidding me
note to self: Never ask your girlfriend to have a 3some with your ex...
girls mom is dying from cancer and she msgs me for a booty call. I guess people cope with their situations differently.
he told me he saved a turtle in the middle of the road.. i told him id be over in ten minutes...i mean he deserves a bj after that.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
we were on a sandy mattress. i was wearing a sweatshirt with a poodle on it and eating a whopper jr. i wouldn't have fucked me either.
We had sex in the bathroom. Then he told me I could watch him pee.
there is nothing like a happy birthday present when you wake up with a bow on your vagina.
3 for 3 on getting girls who say "yolo" at the bar to have anal. Not the motto I live by, but it has changed my life.
Erry day erry day!
Twas the night before the bachelor party, and all thru the house...not a creature was stirring, not even a stripper?...
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I think my greatest accomplishment today was probably using a bottle opener to get the cap off my fourth drink while holding the cat WITHOUT dropping him.
Oh god, what has my life become?
There should be a rule.......that if you have a small penis you must wear a hat with propellers on it so you can fly the hell off the planet.
I haven't filled him in on Operation "find a sugar daddy & suck dick for money" yet, but I'm sure he just wants me to be happy.
I bought Plan B for the first time and an interview outfit today. You could say my life is improving.
I had to try on three different bathing suits to hide my boob hickies
It was like Strip poker and blow, but with Yu-Gi-Oh cards
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