Things overheard in WeHo: "Just drink a corona and eat some ass, you won't be hungry anymore"
I woke up and my panties were thumbtacked to his wall. Out of my reach.
my mom just asked me, concerned, if I swallowed.
The biggest loser is alot easier to jack off to at the end of the season
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I don't think a check that has "thx for the drugs" on the note is really gonna fly.
amateur piercings on our way to the beach? check.
She said to bring taco sauce. Hoping that's a euphemism.
we've coined the Sunday morning ritual of taking out our puke-filled trash cans as The Trash Of Shame
Just found the last picture of me as a virgin. Framed it.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Pizza rolls are incredible. They are like sex, except I have them sometimes
I'm eating hummus off of my stomach right now.
Some crack addled fool from the sketch ass motel behind the restaurant just gave me a flyer for an AA group when I was on my smoke break. I don't do mornings
Honestly, this is a first for me. I've always prided myself on my ability to pretend to get along with others.
You just kept looking down at your tits and screaming "I LOVE YOU TWO!!!"
Grandma said I got a good handjob. I think she meant manicure.
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