I stuck it in and pulled it out
Did she like it?
She giggled?
She liked it
just won the tropical speedo for $11. i didn't know they sold pussy magnets that cheap
you gave the police officer your chanel wallet and said 'just keep it the i.d. is fake too'.
My mom and I were trying to explain to my sister what an uncircumcised penis looks like. We had some minor disagreements.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I just past a guy who was biking and double fisting wit glass beer bottles. That is what i call talent
He's having a heart to heart coversation with the keg about what he should do with his life.
He said he loved me so I pretended not to hear it because I don't think "I love your penis" was the response he was looking for.
Mystery solved. Def had ice creme last night. There is a melted half eaten ice creme bar next to the bed. Which had melted onto my pillow. That explains why it was in my hair too. Im a fucking sherlock holmes over here.
You will go out on a boat of flames filled with honor, sarcasm, and assholery, let me assure you.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Pretending to be completely fried so the odd girl next to me doesnt suspect im simply staring at her.
Was it just me or did you also find it awkward when "glad you came" started playing on pandora right after you finished?
I hoped the great care he put into rolling a blunt would translate to my vagina.
So this is completely apropos of nothing, but I have a feeling that a friend of mine might be a good match for you. Can I set you two up on a date? Oh, and it seems that we live a block away from each other and aren't having sexy times. This is ridiculous. By the way, there's a chance that I might be a tad drunk. Still though, there's a very *good* chance that you and Mr. X would get along.
I can recall having this conversation with a three year old, but go on
Hey, what's a nice way of saying "Why'd you send me a picture of your boobs last night" without seeming ungrateful?
Randomize