I felt like Norm from Cheers walking into the free clinic.
i dont have any money that hasnt already been designated for cigarettes and birth control
I'm 99% sure that for 3 hours I thought you were British. We must smoke that again.
Not even drunk me wanted to have sex with him. I kept intentionally hitting my head on the table behind me during sex till he said i was too drunk for sex.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
well when mom kept referring to my "black hole of a vagina" and how i devoured all the nuts at the party like i was a pro, i figured my stay was up.
Yes, she gives me platonic blowjobs as part of our friendship.
It's a bathroom floor kind of morning.
he was spitting whole peanuts projectile out of his mouth at the waitresses as they walked by and then yelled across the restaurant that he had "no problem kicking any of their asses"
I drank entirely too much. My skin hurts to wear
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
In a strange taxi 3059. Battery dying I'm dying. Bye.
If this party got busted it would be an improvement
He woke me up at 3 am, turned me on, then changed his mind. There is no way he is getting out of twilight now.
Kriste-san. Brian-sensai going to sleepy times acturry. Kriste-grasshopper will spend fun-fun times with Brian-sensai and glorious redbox movie tomorrow yes?
Most creative movie date proposition... ever.
I am at 99 matches in less than 24 hours, I need a tinder rehab program
I think you're my feminist conscience sometimes.
Randomize