By the way the awkward moment from yesterday is now a bad situation I have to figure out.
Thank you Grey Goose.
his text ended with ... everyone knows dot dot dot equals infer sexy time
im pretty sure i just dented her unborn child.
Just crossed the line with my beat friends girl twinsie. Didn't realize tillz afta how much the look alike and an thougholy creeped out. Thanks ciroc
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I'm driving behind a lime green VW that has "Seniors '10!" shoe polished on the rear window. i haven't even seen her yet, but I do have a boner.
Not gonna lie i was comfortable between the allsups air conditioners while you were talking to the cop.
he was definitely TRYING to give me herpes.
THIS IS A FLATMATE WARNING! The white powder next to sink is washing powder I spilled and is not meant for human comsumption. I repeat- do not digest, snort or smoke the white powder next to the sink!!!!
I feel like saying your blowjobs are worth a burrito is not the best strategy to get him to be more giving in bed.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
You thought you were drunk? I woke up at 6 o'clock this morning with a cheeseburger in my left hand a drink in my right with my window half way down. it was raining.... fml
I Pavlov-trained him by smacking him in the nuts anytime I caught him looking at another girl in public. To this day, he's afraid to break eye contact with me in a restaurant if a tall busty blonde walks in.
why do you keep saying "she looks like a porn star" like thats a bad thing?
What's with guys asking if I wanna "kick it" like I'm some fucking 19 year old
Somewhere on my work laptop I have a map visualizing all the area codes that Ludacris has ho's
I hope that wasn't done on billed time
I can guarantee that it was
Just realized that I bailed on you guys yesterday just so I could get wendy's. it was worth it but still, sorry
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