Men with bald spots should not have mohawks. Just in case you didn't know.
Dude, you were so drunk last night that when we went into subway, you forgot the word for bread.
Disregard that. She just puked into her boot and started screaming.
Didn't I tell you I have developed a shameless theory about farting anywhere and everywhere? I'm too pretty so no one suspects me.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I still smell like men's body wash from that drunken shower I took at that stranger's home last night.
So. Do you think marshmallow vodka in hot chocolate while eating a graham cracker would = s'mores?
In some strange universe, yes
I feel like this has turned into my work. But if I get paid sitting under a desk, that's perfectly fine with me.
It was like I was playing the clarinet on his penis. And I just kept saying I'm sorry.
So I'm dropping a fat deuce at work, and the lock on the stall door slips and the door slides open, when suddenly someone comes in. Now I have two options, I can either get up quickly and try to shut the door quickly (not easy to do with one hand) or I can just sit there and play it off like it's no big deal and I always dump at work with the door open. I chose option two, and it was as awkward as it sounds.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I'm not gonna lie, my internet creeping skills scare me. I'm like Liam Neeson in Taken
i'm so glad to be in bed i'd like to thank the acadermy
The Game of Thrones convention was just a drunk fuckfest.
Please tell me you banged Jon Snow.
We played 2 very competitive games of Jenga and then fucked our brains out... BEST. RELATIONSHIP. EVER.
You made me brush your teeth last night......for 47 minutes.
You know shits really hit the fan when you start using public bathroom air freshener spray as perfume
what? where are you?
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