i stole $50 bucks from my girlfriends purse to pay for my other girls abortion pill...shes gonna be pissed
does dane cook know its not 2004 and that hes no longer relevant?
You are forgiven. I sent you a picture of a pumpkin man as a gesture of reconciliation.
There's two big trays of water in our freezer. I just hope they freeze by Saturday. for the ice luge.
its Wednesday...
they're reeeeeally big trays
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
We are having a competition to see who can masterbate in the wierdest place, right now hes winning since he masterbated on his Jr. High school bus.
Its going to be drunk as shit/pirate themed. Im dressing as the former.
Stop banging my friends. This is getting weird.
Stop being friends with hot 18 year old girls.
You know I told you about that hammering at 3 AM yesterday? Turns out it was Holly beating the lock out of her door with a mallet because she'd forgotten her keys.
Doesn't she keep a spare?
Drunk Holly doesn't listen to Sober Holly's plans.
Aparently i was the only guy at her parents bbq throwing up in the pool so Im the asshole right...
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Jungle juice turns everything into a pickup line. All I said was "do you play chess" and somehow I got laid.
Note to self: Never spend $8 on a liter of rum again
Worst. Date. Ever. He peeled a layer of bread off his mini burger buns because they had "too many carbs".
Molly I still can't believe u puked in that guys hands and still got laid
I am so horny. It's like all the stress of finals week has relocated to my vagina.
Turns out tits aren't quite as effective an enticement when they know for a fact that they can't touch.
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