you want to go make fun of the strippers on try out night
i got kicked out last time for laughing
I queefed so loud it echoed.
just added God to my list of friends who can only see my limited profile on facebook. its such a relief to know that He can't watch me fuck up my life anymore.
My dinner last night was 3000 calories of beer. Slept kneeling on the floor w/ my head on a couch
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We left the house and she said "let's go dick hunting" theres no way last night was gonna end up well
I just want to see him this morning so I can bask in my wasted accomplishment.
Crazy how fast a room full of drunk teenagers sober up when someone breaks his parents' new flat screen
She wanted me to watch her masterbate and after she thanked me for a wonderful evening and left. This state is weird.
He burnt his arm on the grill, then turned around and started blaming it on the burger buns...I think it's safe to say he's drunk.
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Someone downtown drunkenly stole the antenna off of her car... while she was driving.
We split an eighth of shrooms and went ice fishing. It didn't get weird until I caught one and we both started crying.
I got head this morning from the 31-year-old version of Jenn. It was like a blow job from the future while a simultaneous blast from the past for 10 minutes.
1. so the new neighbor u called dibs on.. I'm sorry..but not really. 2. She lactates, I guess that happens when you have a kid less then 5 months ago.... WTF!! 3. Is it fucked up I'm craving Ceral & Milk now?
I'm over being sad. I'm now onto thinking about all the ways in which he is a total fuckwaste
No I got a fucking mosquito bite on my vagina. Summer is off to a bumpy start.
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