well we can cross tagging a chick in a movie theatre off the list of things to do before we die
the people next to us in line are buying a 12 pack and a snuggie
Following a car with a GPS. We don't know where he's going, but he probably has a better idea of where we're going than we do. Also, very high.
Oh I forgot to tell you one of the little boys in my preschool class was wearing a Hooters tank top today.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
My freaking DENTIST just commented on my hickies. Through the novacaine I managed to mumble 'It was my birthday' and she smiled knowingly.
I'm thinking I had intended to send you pics cuz I woke up naked
I am too hungover to address any of this right now, every time i move it feels like i'm being bitch slapped by the hand of God
Apparently, I kept going on about how i'm going to name my first born Ramen. I think this is a good parenting move.
If we laid all the dicks that's have been inside of us end to end it would be as tall as 4 story building. 40 feet of dicks.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
She rode my dick so hard I momentarily lost hearing. I guarantee I had the better St Patrick's.
I don't think meeting his drug dealers counts as a relationship landmark.
No, and she still hasn't answered me...I get a whole series of text messages about Guatemalan anal bleaching but no fucking answer to my question.
You handed me an unpeeled grapefruit off the frat basement floor and then took a bite out of it.
My roommate just woke up to me masturbating in our room. I figured this would happen eventually.
If only he'd realize the fondness I have for his genitals.
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