fighting downstairs. join me tonight to hear their makeup sex. also, let's make skittles vodka.
Why is there a cactus in the microwave?
Don't worry about it.
I took it to a new level. I'm procrastinating taking my adderall. Hate finals week.
Now that world cup is done, funneling out of a vuvuzela has lost its fun
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
i always knew that i'd have sex in your room, i just assumed it would be with you
I don't think the car's salesman understands that I am about to vomit on him.
so far we have 6 big wheels and 10 boxes of wine for the tour de franzia. team drunkslut is favored to win the yellow jersey.
I lost a little respect for your boyfriend when I learned that he has a scar from a Cheerio.
I'm mumbling to people and trying not to accidentally shit my pants
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
i am bringing shame upon my ancesors with my weak liver valhalla will never accept me
How do I tell your little brother I lost my virginity wearing nothing but his socks?
Formal letter or email.
Naked chocolate chip pancake making. I just spilled mix all over the place. My boobs are covered in flour. This is not going well.
Can you have a quarter life crisis another time? I'm trying to masterbate.
Self care is breaking into nasa and launching yourself directly into the fucking void
I tried to text you about going to the Lion's Den but sent it to my boss. She was down for it. Please advise.
Randomize