She was running around the bar, demanding everyone call her Jesus or else she would attack them like a llama. ack.
k so who do I think I'm kidding applying to culinary school? I just fucked up a microwaveable pizza
i just woke up to a text from him apologizing for making me eat a full lemon
She was pretty drunk. It was like watching a puppy explore the world for the first time.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I'm not wearing underwear, I started my period this morning, and it's super windy. Recipe for disaster?
if you just come over, i will entertain you
arguing about the color of your bong does not count as entertainment
Prepare for tons of dick. I mean dick by the bucket loads. Waterfalls if cock.
He burnt his arm on the grill, then turned around and started blaming it on the burger buns...I think it's safe to say he's drunk.
Drunk texting with my high school teacher. This hurricane is bringing out the best in everyone!
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Guess who just made out with Sloth from The Goonies!
If I ever go to Canada, I'm fucking the maple syrup out of his Canadian ass.
Omg you can't vacuum salsa that's just ridiculous
He's hot, you can get laid, and you may get free drugs. It's the trifecta of banging a drug dealer
We ate sushi in a hospital bed, then fucked in a bathroom while I wore a gown. Pretty sure she's the one
I don't think there's a ladylike way to tell this guy I want to sit on his face
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