Who wears a wallet chain?!
I know it may not be fiscally responsible to pregame fifty cent night, but I'm gonna go ahead and do it anyway.
I just claimed my unemployment in Vegas. This seems wrong.
not exactly restoring sanity, but he is throwing up on the national mall right now
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
If you're wondering where your left shoe is you lost it in a bet with a homeless guy last night
Well. It was around 3 or 4 in the morning. He ran into the woods. Wearing moccasins. Holding an extension cord. He was trying to catch a deer. That about sums up the awesomeness of the night.
Come to the roof. We are drinking breakfast.
Just left a strip club where they let me on stage to teach them tricks. Time of my life!
On my way home from the dentist. Was going to call and see if you would like to wake and bake, then remembered my sister is an adult
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
She's too awesome to dump: she gives me great blow jobs and free Popeyes. You just don't burn a bridge like that.
She is carving a little coffin out of some wood for her hamster that died. I'm flying home tonight.
Nice. Ask if they watched saved by the bell. yes=legal. No=jailbait
He stuck a cigarette in my butt last night. There is no coming back from that.
You know that voice that tells you to do something spontaneous after 1am? Don't listen to it.
Pretty sure if we keep hanging out on Tuesdays there will be no whiskey left for the younger generations or the universe will implode....tomato tahmato
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