she was drooling, sharted in her sleep, rolled over stuck her hand under the covers pulled it back out, smelled it and moaned and rolled back over. i almost added puke to the disgusting bodily fluid category.
And that's when he stuck his finger up his own ass to prove it would feel good...
can't remember last night but the beers were $3.50, so i can count how many I had by counting my quarters
i can afford to take several trips up and down the parkway right now if I wasn't still hanging over my toilet
Either he masturbated at the end of the bed or she gave him a bj. Either way my bed was shaking and I was uninvolved.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
she was talking at me constantly for like 20mins. i kept praying for a brain hernia but it kept not happening...
I bought a dress specifically for face plant durability... this is how serious I am about my drunk status this weekend
He just showed me how to break a chop stick with his ass.
New fuck buddy and long time fuck buddy are carpooling home for thanksgiving. #10hrconvoaboutmyblowjobskills
The other night he asked if I had a condom and I said I had an IUD. and he goes OMG A BOMB?
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Side note: I just realized that I can make my hand warmers double as a heated push up bra.
STOP HOOKING UP WITH SOCCER MOMS! YOU ARE RUINING MY REPUTATION!
She is carving a little coffin out of some wood for her hamster that died. I'm flying home tonight.
dude the last time we saw him was 2 nights ago when he was yelling that the trees were naked or some shit then he ran into the forest. I think its time for a search party
you put your dick on my shoulder this morning like it was a fucking parrot
The abomination is in progress. At least one barista side eyed me and the other has fear in her eyes
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