i hope your v-card owns a pair of floaties
dude your alot more fun to hang out around now that your addicted to coke...but seriously you need to stop
no matter how many times i close my eyes and hit ignore on my phone. i must remind myself shit i still have to see her at work
you never know when you'll meet the man of your dreams and bang him in an elevator
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
i just found a bag of weed behind my capital one card. i guess that's what's in my wallet.
Did you just see the Batmobile???
yea i thought the egg drop soup tasted weirdly like cum, and then i suddenly remembered what happened last night.
i'm never eating chinese again.
I can't believe I am actually paying for a night in a hotel for my parents so I can throw a party the night before Christmas Eve. I also can't believe they think it's their Christmas present.
By midnight I was dipping doritos in frosting...that's how my simmer break diet is going.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
All i want to do is drink fuck and cry... you dont have to cater all three its more like the saddest choose your own adventure ever
I'm gonna drop in for a zip later man. It made me wanna eat my girls shampoo. Good shit
I'm like a savant for remembering names I learned while I was drunk. Seriously, I'm three for three. I'm on a roll.
I wish to strangle
whoa there darth vader
Also lets pinky promise right now that we will NOT play "Pony" outside of each other's rooms if we have a hook up over
Look, I need your help, not your judgment.
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