i either just vomited on a lesbian or a small boy
if I hooked up with that creppy kkid in bio does that count as doing charity work during the holidays?
The worse part is i sent a text at like three that said i was getting head... Now i have no idea who's mouth has been on my dick
would it be completely unacceptable to smoke a cig outside naked? im already doing it so what you say doesn't matter.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I just took a shot out of my supervisors unzipped jeans. Our staff parties are getting a little too personal
You were a path of destruction, you started with eating half the cake, proceeded by throwing the rest in the sink and dumping water all over it while laughing... then throwing the drunk helmet across the room yelling that you didnt want to wear it... i'd say it was a successful birthday.
This is simple. Just sex and high fives. No feelings.
I woke up to a full mcdonalds meal being shoved in my face. Mom mustve noticed the empty tequila bottle. I love family.
that almost beats the chick I saw smoking a joint while uni-cycling past my house at 4am. Almost.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Just sitting at dinner with my dad...simultaneously texting "daddy" to confirm saturday's spanking and telling another guy to get condoms before Im done with dinner. Don't know when I got so ate up but I'm loving it. You?
Regretting asking you what you were doing.
Bill says he deeply regrets the incident with the soda bottle
The drive thru lady at McDonald's asked how I was and I responded by opening the car door and throwing up all over the drive thru lane. Happy Sunday.
you went over there?
His drunk texts were grammatically perfect. At least our kids will be smart.
I'm going to blow a ton of money on sex toys just so I can tell you to do better than them.
i am also 80% sure that my shirt glows in the dark.
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