the night ended with taco bell and tears
5am update: in a toga seeing triple made out with both sexes
I find it very uncomfortable that I need to ask you to stop sending me pictures of your stomach
Pretty sure my body is in shock, I shouldn't feel this ok after last nite.
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I feel like i'm walking on a never-ending field of baby sheep.
I think we need a list of things that are automatic NO's for dating a guy. Married, definitely a no now
Walking around as slutty Ron Swanson is amazing
I vaguely remember losing my underwear to 2 chicks in a bathroom. That drunk.
Long story short, I found someone who takes me seriously when I say I have a Shakespeare kink.
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I'm too over dressed and drunk for this emergency vets office
Butt Stuff 2016 unites us all
Whiskey. Because sometimes it's fun to have your hands go numb.
Far be it from me to tell you where you store your dildos but from an interior decorating standpoint not fucking there
before i could order beers she was on stage 69ing with a stripper
After he came, he took a two minute power nap and then fucked me for another 45 minutes. He is a machine!
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