You did that once after drunk driving from a photo shoot
That was very cool/italian of you
Which brings me to my next point, how come italians are so well adapted to drunk driving
i've never been more proud of someone than i was when he told me he got his first blowjob at age 13...from two chicks
he told us the story of how he fought ketchup, mustard, and thomas the train engine all in one night. if that doesn't sound like an acid trip i dont know what does.
just read twilight to her over the phone, while in the bathtub, candlelight...i'd love to say no homo but that was so gay.
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HER PREGGO ASS BROUGHT SPEGHETTI-O'S... IN HER PURSE.
Rode a jet ski for the first time three days after I lost my virginity. Hell of a week for my vagina.
So I cleaned out my gym bag. Found half a bottle of malibu.
You know, I could pretend I'm shocked but what's the use?
Found a 10-can wizard staff hidden in our closet. Did we cut someone off?
That's yours. We cut you off.
I HAVE A PIGEON IN MY JACKET.
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siamese drinking twins saturday is a go ... bring duct tape.
I like to get drunk just like anyone else but not to the point of sticking a rubber tube up my asshole
We are buying drugs from a guy with a Jesus fish on his dodge caravan.
WHEN THE FUCK DID MCDONALD'S DECIDE TO QUIT SERVING BURGERS AT 1:00AM?
I would peed on everything
Ok despite the fact that both you and I love dick we could have a great marriage
You know you are high when you are so glad it wasn't your freshly buttered raisin bread that fell on your foot. It was your $400 Ipod
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