if i hurry i can finally have sex while stoned off my ass
godspeed.
Houston, we have a problem
where are u?
Houston. That's the problem. I don't know how I got here.
I blacked out after the shots of canned lobster bisque.
I can't be held responsible for my own vagina. Let's just be honest here.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
just woke up to find an unpeeled banana, with a condom on, halfway into my vagina. this better not be you trying to be funny
we are watching a video on ethics because somebody wrote "butt sex" on the attendance sign in sheet
Just made macaroni burritos. Fukkin awesome. We'll have to try this when I'm sober.,!
What kind of a birthday party isn't a get drunk and ruin everything party
It's like when your main girl and your side girl start having their period in the same week
You are the most depressed sports fan I know
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I'M WORRY THAT MY VAGINA WILL NEVER KNOW THE TOUCH OF A MAN AND YOU ARE MAKING A MIXTAPE
I don't need no damn man when I have the cock-a-nator 2000.
I had mediocre parking lot sex last night so the night wasn't a complete bust.
For one week of my life every time I pull my cock out I want the Jurassic Park theme music to start playing.
Something is wrong here. The birds are chirping and I'm not fucking you, I'm not getting head and I don't smell bacon. Why am I up this early then?
She started crying because the Rugrats grew up
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