I just found out I was conceived in a rehab facility... that's better than finding out your dad could be someone else right?
She passed out on top of the bar. Still did body shots off her.
mom just asked if we are going to need more kaluha as she pulls 5 out of the cupboard. this xmas might kill me
And theres a reasonable expectation that if you're fighting over a pair of yoga pants on the ground at VS someones gonna videotape it
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
He told me about how he pissed his pants last weekend like it was a normal part of conversation. Within 10 minutes I was going home with him. I think he put me under some kind of spell.
how are you shocked you fucked her? sure shes hot, but she also washed your beerpong balls in her mouth..... you should probably get tested.
You sent me a picture of you licking the bottom of a shoe and the caption was "it tastes like shoe"
My sugar daddy is a bigger asshole than i am. What's wrong here?
I feel like he better crank it up to level RG IV tomorrow. It's the fucking playoffs.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I made out with about ten people last night. And four of them were just on the way to my car from the bar. And one was my roommate.
I assume you passed out however I'm drinking jäger and beer in bed with my cat so your friendship world have been appreciated
It's like I'm getting a welcome home parade with sex!
I wish I had a Tina from Bob's Burgers in real life. She would be the best wingman.
Sitting in a waiting room with 15 children has me contemplating if I ever want to have sex again...
Man, I'm real high and googling what all my favorite figure skaters from childhood are doing now.
Randomize