I'm pretty sure a girl doesn't give it up with a reverse cow girl...
I just remember getting him back by licking the window on his truck.
I am gunna fuck the accent right out of her mouth
Just found out the guy that gave me herpes died. now everytime I get a flare up, it'll be like he's coming back to say hello
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
we where pretty evenly matched until he threw me through that wall
there's another hole in my ceiling...someone fell through the attic this time....
It is official. It's the year of doin married chicks. Similar to the year of virgins but without all the baggage.
so I'm coping with getting the "I'm not over my ex" bomb dropped on me by getting drunk and yelling at people while wearing a purple princess hat
I'll report later on the progress of the mountain orgy
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I got pulled into the conversation by "she sleeps with everybody" then "she" involved sleeping with "cocks the size of a viva burrito"
I didn't have toilet paper until 20 minutes ago. But I have champagne. Priorities.
I was looking at our sex bingo and pretty much every single row or column has at least one kind of person that is harder to find than all the rest
We've made things harder for ourselves
The struggle will be part of the fun
I still can't get the taste of her nipples and the udon noodles out of my mouth
If you bring home Chipotle tonight I'll give you an epic bj...ball play and all #datenight
The squirrels were at the front door. Dude I swear..
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