Bea Arthur died yesterday
You shut your stupid mouth
Betty White is next, I just know it.
Betty White will never die! She's like Dick Clark. Rue McCalahan is next.
he walked in on you at the party drunkenly dancing alone on the bed wearing mardi gras beads, sunglasses, and using one ski pole as a microphone.... and you STILL got laid. i dont get your life.
Meghan got a job at the bar. We're now morally obligated to drink. Is this what dreams are made of?
The "don't get cum on anything" rule also applies to my furniture and scarves
That's not technology. Doesn't count.
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No...this little piggys going to the bar
What is a foreign vacation of stupidity without some fake names?
I just need like a magic vacuum to suck everything out of me and then an IV to put good stuff back in
I just told a bottle to be chill
and meant it
I sat on the bathroom floor yelling "hell hath no fury!" for about 20 minutes.
It's definitely revenge time.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I literally just skipped to the fridge when I realized we had enough vodka left to get day drunk
who has a one night stand on Christmas ? But he's pretty attractive so thumbs up
After we finished having phone sex he proceeded to serenade me with Ave Maria. It was magical.
please god let this picture I just uploaded not have my vagina in it
I'd still fuck that
You'd fuck a dead moose
Quite possible
That's good. So do you know why there is a giant pile of old tires in the laundry room and kitchen?
Well we knew you needed some tires, found someone on the way home who was giving them away and took them all. Has to be 4 in there you can use.
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