Ur just texting me random shit. That's what Twitter is for
I don't plan to be alive for 2010 so ima say this 12 hours early. Happy New Year bitches
I will return your cat, I saw a mouse in my apt last night and your door was unlocked, it seemed really practical
He tried to say "god bless your heart" to the stripper but it came out "god bless your pussy"
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
he came in the shower with me...i thought it was going to be nice and romantic...until he started peeing on my leg.
I never appreciated sexting until I went to rehab
I pretty much landed into this relationship penis first
We are going to need a water proof camera with a flash....exit routes....lots of booze.....and a tutu for good measure
So. I need to gloat. I couldn't exactly tell my family that I won this game by deep throating.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
i keep seeing little orange spots im starting to freak out
you tried mixing adderall in your visine last night..
It's fine. I wouldn't trust either of them to be my workplace drug buddy.
Is it weird that I only look up my ex on Twitter when I take a shit? May have conditioned myself to associate him with shit
I went to watch porn and there's already 3 Santa videos. Happy November 1st.
that is our friendship pylon, do not lose it
fuck you.
DO NOT LOSE IT
Lol I'm just saying its too early for your penis, I can accept it but at a more decent hour
Randomize