I knew she could be a good mother by the way she craddled three 40oz's.
HE KEEPS WALKING AWAY. IT'S LIKE HE DOESN'T EVEN LIKE FRIES. WTF.
its time for step 4 of getting over him: post his number on the transvestite page on craigs list asking for pics
Lets just not get arrested. That might put a damper on everything. I only say that cause i've almost been arrested.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
130 PACKAGES of glow sticks! The going rate of a rave is $38.30! GET READY FOR THE GLORGY!!!!!!!!!!!!
I can't in good conscience help you bag a Catholic girl who isn't at least a 7.
dude Steve you don't even know. its just been one hairy asshole after another.
My catholic guilt is strong, but the alcohol is stronger.
Based on the grey fur I pulled from my teeth, I think her vagina has mice.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
did you know gatorade and rum go really good together
Are you doing depressed science again
maybe
Yes. I will keep putting the beer into my stomach and eventually the bartender will make a mistake
You are in my phone as "Thigh Gap" and you apparently work for "DO NOT DRUNK TEXT, INC." That is why I called you six times last night. So unless you take a second job at "NO DRUNK DIALING LLC" expect more. PS I am sober so this is legit.
Someone keeps hanging up bible verse posters in the bathroom stall I masturbate in at work.
I just put a pill up my vagina. It was little like a quail egg. There is so much happening up there right now.
I am high. And my mom surpised me today. Now i am high and with my mom....bad idea
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