I see lights
Your drunk and in times square. Time to take the 2 train home.
Sorry for scaring your son with my drunken animal impressions
i left after you tried to balance a shot of tequila on your head while screaming at the bar tender that you fucked his girlfriend
Aside from the fact that there's a penis in my mouth, that's a pretty good picture of me
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Almost propositioned sex in exchange for a study guide for my final tomorrow.
Stripper pole. Sore legs. More vaca money.
The kid in the park, who was on a leash I might add, looked at us and yelled "stranger danger" before hiding behind his dad
We got jeff a deep fryer for his bday. So far the count is two potatoes and your iPod.
In his defense he just bought a bong like a week ago so he's still in that honeymoon phase.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
There has been a song made about you fucking his roommate.
It's destiny.
Can you come unlock the door? I just peed myself on the porch.
The fact that the praying hands are in my top emojis defines how 2016 is going so far
Ever been to a strip club with one stripper? I have. And she sucked.
My Boss was giving porn recommendations. I think I'm scarred for life.
I feel like I got hit by a car. But a small car, like a Beetle or a Mini or something.
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