I was at the bar last night dancing, puking in a trash can, and ordering another drink all at the same time. Have I lost my dignity?
haha no as long as you did hook up with anybody after that.
... oops
New drink name: the Vermont Douchebag. Take shot of maple syrup, drop into cup of jager, bomb.
Fuck the gym. I just shaved m'cooch and my pants now fit looser.... Dont judge me.
You NEED to get fingered by a violinist. He used his left hand and make me cum, he's RIGHT handed.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
It wasn't until i was on my knees with three dicks in my face that i thought it might be a bad idea
just remind me when i get fired soon that august is the month i started pregaming work
I think I found an E pill under the couch.. Or really bad tasting candy. Check back in 30min this could get exciting
So was I the only one that was competing in the whale hunt?
She kept telling me to calm down. I was on the floor with my eyes shut, not moving. In levels of calm I was one step above coma patient
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I'm on the struggle bus
just ordered a number 1 at a fast food restaurant that doesn't have numbers
dude, you were feeling up her boob for 20 minutes in front of the guy she was hitting on because you and her had an argument over who had bigger boobs.
hey man, it was for science okay.
He insisted he brought his alarm clock everywhere, and then the girl screamed "fuck French people!"
its before 9am and ive already had to dip my dick and balls in a glass of milk. probably isnt a good sign for how today is going to go.
Are you considering all the consequences of doing your boss or are you just rationalizing with your vagina?
Specially since he wanted to forget that we even touched, which makes it funnier because I don't think you can take back licking someone's butthole...
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