Just taught my suite how to queef. I feel like i'm back in 9th grade!
He was telling me how the song fireflies makes him feel like he can talk to animals
I passed out and woke up with my pockets full of Lucky Charms cereal and chocolate coins. Another successful St Pattys Day.
My financial aid advisors would be so pissed if they knew I was spending my loan money on strippers
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woke up with a sweatshirt on that said "someone special calls me grandma" and a sword. i'm just going to assume that it was a good night
nothing like walking down the street with a garbage bag of puke trying to find a dumpster
Every once in a while you'd chuckle to yourself, and when I asked you what's so funny u replied "sometimes my toes tickle eachother"
Sunday is a myth, I refuse to believe that I waste an entire day unable to function after a night of drinking.
thing about being the result of a teen pregnancy is that all my baby pictures are of my mom and dad holding me around their stoned college friends.
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We're walking, taxis are a waste of money that can be spent on alcohol.
Everyone was hooking up and I was just by myself rolling around in the grass at one point ... Which I am allergic to.
Taco trucks are like ice cream trucks for drunk adults. They should have a mariachi tune they play super loud to bring people out of the bars for tacos.
Just caught myself checking an online porn site while in a strip club. Might have a problem.
I remember yelling at him telling him that the strippers were "nice people."
I think i just made eye contact with his roommate... while doing reverse cowgirl. Yup i have no shamee
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