woke up naked, spooning with wine bottle.. and my video chat was still open. fuck, not again.
he was lying next to me and i saw him text "score" to someone.
He said my breasts were God's way of making up to him for all the shit he's had to endure in his life.
i'm not a hellocoptur, but youer in a dorm ans im un a dorm
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Confidence is key. All I had to tell him is I'm drinking a bottle of wine and eating chocolate today to celebrate that I love myself. That's how you get a Valentine, my friend.
As we're eating sushi she goes I just want to get a disease so my mom can take care of me... Great first date
He thought my hair would soak it up. I HAD TO CUT IT OFF.
Who spent today in nothing but a vajazzle and candy thong? SORRY NOT SORRY
You were all "think outside the box, inside the bag!" as you filled your camelback with beer.
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Is it too early in the day to be getting dressed for the strip club?
Can you send me the pictures of me riding the penis
well i don't know if 30 seconds is exactly a good time but at least he bought me breakfast
For a second I thought that you were becoming a decent person again. I am glad I was wrong.
Fun fact: I came home from the riverboat without my panties. And woke up with a different pair on.
We need to get walkie talkies for when we're drunk so if we are at different parties or lost we can talk
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