but instead of smelling like hand cream and homemade cookies, she smells like a yeast infection.
You should probably just propose to him the old fashioned way: sleep with him and get pregnant.
You get drunk and try to bury your girlfriend in the sand JUST ONCE and all hell breaks loose
he has decreed that i can sleep with anyone who has the same name as him. line up all the toms
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
This is one of those times I wish I had a time machine so I could go back and punch myself in the face to make me realize what I need to do before it's too late
He literally cried into his tacos and screamed fuck bitches. Don't know if it was the best, or the worst hook up, ever.
Worst date ever. Bro she asked when we can start having kids because her clock was ticking.
Run dude. Just run
Wanna see if we can get cut off at bdubs again? The same hipster manager that is younger than us is working again
Went and sat in the wrong fucking class for 30 mins, answering questions and shit. What ever this is i will be on it for the rest of the semester.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
You WHAT?!?!
Paid. A. Homeless. Guy. To. Throw. A. Drink. In. Her. Face.
I fucking love you.
Bring beers. The password is "I brought beers" but you can't come in if you're a liar
I hope you have your own chainsaw cause I didn’t buy one for you. It was a gross oversight on my part
GOD DAMN IT I COULD HAVE HAD A MOTHERFUCKING 3 WAY LAST NIGHT. WHY BOOZE, WHY?!
I gave him breakup sex, AGAIN
Last night we proved the theory that "harder" is the worst rough sex safe-word ever.
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