i think the world will end when pigs can fly. think about it, everyone says blah blah when pigs fly. so shit would be going down if they ever can.
oh fuck your right
BEES IN MY FUCKING PANTS. HELP.
is it gross that my labia hangs so much that guys can't find my clit?
yeah, he just sent me a picture of himself with his shirt off.... It didnt turn me on, it just made me want to buy him a big mac....
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I had five suicidal voicemails from him when I woke up this morning. They all started and ended with "DON'T FUCK MY ROOMMATES".
It was only one, it doesn't count.
i feel like his penis is a security blanet. i cant fall asleep unless its in my hand
high. he's playing 'oops i did it again' on the ukelele. is this real life?
Ahh, 151. Think of it this way: it took one shot to get you buzzed, I took eight. I may or may not have broken a tv with my skull that night and met someone's parents naked and hungover the next morning.
Seriously I can't get a booty call for some baked goods.
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I was gonna make a strong case for you to be my midnight kiss, but poptarts sound good too
VASECTOMY FOR THE WIN
So I scratched the whole boyfriend plan and got wasted. Wanna try again tomorrow?
we're gonna read the declaration of independence and do a shot for every word he doesn't understand.
Im bringing my light up rubber ducky just in case we end up at a rave tonight. HE CHANGES COLOR!
He may not be good for my soul but he’s great for my vagina!
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