Scream out, "Tax-Free dick over here" in the bar. Ladies love tax free stuff
it turns out vodka filled condoms arent that funny
It's confirmed. We did xmas carol the grocery store across the street from his building at 2:30am... Only the staff was there.
In case you were wondering, transporting lube in a ziploc bag is just as bad of an idea as it sounds.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Exactly. So he deserves crazy "thanks for keeping me out of jail" sex. Or an "I'm glad your excessive cocaine habit had some positive outcomes" blowjob.
Hows that studying goin for you?
I'm in my bathtub in a robe and jeans smoking a bowl and my hair is covered in olive oil
When I said to shut up, I meant it. I'm sorry you have a bald spot now, but it was necessary.
I woke up with her dog licking the wedding cake out of my ear and her sister finishing our Jaeger
May or may not have been going down the road shooting fireworks.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
He said he wanted to "superfuck" me
Does he wear a cape??
I wore pigtails while I was having sex with that 22 year old just to make him feel like a pedophile.
I miss my teeeeeeeeth. They're in a bag in my hand.
Is it bad I have to get shitty ass drunk on a Monday night because I can't adult?
you had me at "meet me in the bathroom"
We had sex in Lake Michigan for an hour Sunday.
Thanks for ruining an entire lake for me. I hate you so much right now.
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