i googled "where to have sex in disneyland." i found nothing.
just overheard a conversation that ended in "and that's what I learned in France" How could that not have been about sex
When she was giving me head last night it felt like there was a NASCAR pit crew working on my dick.
we were boning in the bathroom when her boyfriend came upstairs. I wish i could remember what happened next more clearly, because it had to have been hilarious
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Don't try to dry clothes in the microwave. They'll catch on fire.
oh my god. were standing in the kitchen and were chanting "EYEBROWS" and shaving peoples eyebrows. I have work tomorrow and want to keep my eyebrows.
he locked me out then poked me with a fork when i tried to get in through the window
Some advice...don't play drunk rock em sock em robots. With actual people. I have bruises EVERYWHERE.
Eating my shrimp pasta on the porch with a 40, wearing a Hawaiian shirt, proclaiming "I GOT SCRIMPS." I just jumped the shark of college.
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And then we made hashbrowns with vodka and queso.
I just need to stop hanging out with girls who drink wine coolers.
When we were done he got down next to the bed and I thought he was Tebowing. He was hitting a bong that he had already loaded and hidden under the bed.
I've had sex with three people who have this birthday.
Wasted. And I have 5 pounds of potatoes that I'm responsible for.
OMG OMG OMG I just throwed up in his pillow case when he wentto start the sho wer, time to grab my bra and bounce!!!
Wow.
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